Grievig Italy

Wesley left for Italy on Monday. Surprisingly I am not as upset as I thought I would be, partly because I have already grieved over every scenario possible.

From the moment I found out Wesley would be going to Italy, I cried. I cried hard. Every. Day. I cried for the things that could happen to him (that probably wouldn’t). I cried for the places and people I wouldn’t see. I cried for the lack of control I had for his well-being (for some reason I felt I could make sure the pilot was as careful as he could be just by being a passenger. Hilarious, I know). I cried for the food I wouldn’t get to eat.

I grieved.

I grieved for a lost husband that I still could hold. I grieved for a little girl who wouldn’t know how great her father is. I grieved for the culture I wouldn’t see. I grieved for the people I wouldn’t get to hug (I love to hug and cuddle, and I hear Italy is the place to go if you love being close to people). I grieved for the History I wouldn’t see and feel with my hands. I grieved for ridiculous (some more than others) reasons.

I prayed.

I prayed Philippians 4 every day. I read Philippians 4 every day. I wanted that passage to be ingrained into my being. I wanted to only think about Jesus’ peace. I wanted only Jesus’ peace. I wanted Jesus’ strength. I needed Jesus’ strength.

When the time came to drop Wesley off at the airport I thought I would lose it. I thought I would need to pull over and cry because I wouldn’t be able to see the road. I thought I wouldn’t be able to breathe from snot bubbles bursting (this happens to you too!). I thought I wouldn’t be able to eat or enjoy anything this week.

I was wrong.

I was wrong about everything. Jesus sent His peace. I took all of my worries and prayed about them. It was (and still is) the most amazing feeling. When I dropped him off I was fine. Fine. Not one single tear dropped from my eyes. It was amazing. It was freeing. It was peace. It was Jesus.

 

^“6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus… ¹³ I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:6-7, 13

 

 

What have I married into?

A recent conversation Wesley and I had about his favorite holiday.

Me: “Are you going to plant a tree for Arbor Day?” If any of you knew Wesley is college, he was a non-showering-frisbee throwing-tree hugging-hippie. Jokingly, asking him if he was going to participate in the “hippie” holiday, as I like to call it.

To my surprise he responded,

“Yeah, I think I will. I like Arbor Day. I think I am going to plant a Japanese maple.” I don’t know why I was surprised.

Me: “Hey I love Japanese maples! They are so pretty!”

Wesley: “They look a lot like weed…”

Me: “NO they do not! They have a burgundy color and have pretty leaves… they don’t look like weed leaves.”

Wesley: “I know what a Japanese maple looks like, we had them in our backyard when we lived in Columbia.”

Me: “Then you should know that they don’t look like weed leaves!”

Wesley: “Have you ever seen a weed leaf?”

Me: “Well, no. Have you?”

Wesley: “Yeah, we had them in our backyard when we lived in Columbia.”

What have I married into? The drug Cartel family perhaps…

*Clearly, Wesley was joking and I don’t know anyone who is involved with the Cartel, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you… I might get shot…

Full-Time Ministry

This is the conversation I had with my husband a little over a week ago.

"So I am going to turn down the Buckle job and raise support full time."

"What? When did you decide this?"

"I have been unsettled about Buckle for a couple of weeks now. God keeps telling me that we should raise support."

"Okay... Love you..."

My husband, the smartest man I know, told me this breaking news as he was walking out the door to work his next to last day at American Eagle. Why he thought this was an opportune moment, I have no idea!

Wesley (my husband) was the stock lead manager at American Eagle (AE); he was offered a management position at Buckle (another clothing store) which would have given us somewhat of a feeling of financial stability. Then out of nowhere, a local church offered him a great job as the Creative Youth Pastor (kind of like a youth pastor assistant). Ironically, the church offered him the same amount we were planning on raising to be full-time at REVO (a rockin' awesome church plant here in Winston! http://www.discoverrevo.com/ check it out!).

Needless to say, we are following what God has told us to do. As of current, neither one of us have jobs and we are in the process of raising our support for a year. I am overwhelmed and surprisingly calm considering the amount of information I had to absorb and process in such a short time.

Don't worry, for all of you reading this and sitting on the edge of your seat wondering what is going to happen, are we going to live or die or be homeless? I will be the first to tell you that God will provide in the way He sees fit. We will be fine. This will be a good season and adventure in our lives. I will definitely keep you all posted about things to come and the adventures in raising support for a family of three.